a little poem as an AI gif
a little poem as an AI gif
if we destroy
we cannot bear
the idea of a beauty
and so unrelated
to our human doing
in our imagination
and when confronted
that was meant
turns out to be
to stop mourning
what was never meant
will always remain
I am free to have
not outside; in me
not only in my brain
between me and the person I thought I used to be
and my “old” version ….
so … I gave the AI bot a prompt which was a poem of mine ….
everything surprisingly soft
away from the shore
swimming in happiness
the power of going under
and this is what AI made …
Playing around with this AI bot helps me to formulate what I actually want to see.
Which is how I used to work. I had an idea and then tried to build something that would look, through my camera lens, more or less like the idea I had formed in my head.
The last couple if years I forgot to work this way, letting myself be seduced by the material I had, or found.
Not that I never did that before, but it had always served some “higer” purpose, everything I used was used in the framework of my overall ideas.
My being stuck in my art has in part to do with the fact that I forgot what I wanted to see, meyself, and show, to others. Then it is easy to get “seduced” by some funky looking material, instead of being inspired by it to use as a tool to enhance my idea ….
What I want to say is that I notice how hard to find it to formulate ideas of what I want to see and how that brought to the surface what I knew without knowing, that my loosing my creative drive had a lot to do with forgetting what I wanted to see …. It´s incredibly hard to go deeper, concentration is something I struggeled with all my life and forcing myself to go deeper without being distracted by social media, or shopping, or doing some “to do” from an endless list, is really hard. And mostly: worth it.
today is a good day to seriously begin my “project” of 2 months of free creative exploration … in the hope to regain a spark, a momentum, new ideas and get rid of old creative cobwebs in my head ….
a carte blanche to try out new things and maybe also get back to old ones with new impulses …. it´s more of a challenge to me then it might sound … I have been trapped in the same kind of loops and self defeating convictions about my work for quite some time and I find it hard to regain the freedom of expression I had when I began “making art”. The innocence i will never get back, that is impossible, but maybe the courage to acknowledge the voices in my head how tell me what is right and what is wrong and then do it anyway. Accept that i can make really shitty stuff and also good stuff, and that both are fine. To search for the courage to dare to try. Even at home when no one is looking I find it hard to experiment with a medium I have no experience with, to spend time being a beginner, it takes a huge mental effort to do things I actually want to do …
This is for me, for the artist in me who wants to create and who wants to see if she stiull has something to show, to say, to bring into the world …
For the moment I am hooked to creating images with an AI bot …. lots of half formed thoughs and ideas about this …. I will experiment with that …
in no particukar order ….
a warm October, swimming in the Ostsee on my birthday, a warm November also and then a cold beginning of December …. a trip to Luxembourg, and the end of the year …
and a video I made for a film course: