today is a good day to seriously begin my “project” of 2 months of free creative exploration … in the hope to regain a spark, a momentum, new ideas and get rid of old creative cobwebs in my head …. 

a carte blanche to try out new things and maybe also get back to old ones with new impulses …. it´s more of a challenge to me then it might sound … I have been trapped in the same kind of loops and self defeating convictions about my work for quite some time and I find it hard to regain the freedom of expression I had when I began “making art”. The innocence i will never get back, that is impossible, but maybe the courage to acknowledge the voices in my head how tell me what is right and what is wrong and then do it anyway. Accept that i can make really shitty stuff and also good stuff, and that both are fine. To search for the courage to dare to try. Even at home when no one is looking I find it hard to experiment with a medium I have no experience with, to spend time being a beginner, it takes a huge mental effort to do things I actually want to do … 

This is for me, for the artist in me who wants to create and who wants to see if she stiull has something to show, to say, to bring into the world … 

For the moment I am hooked to creating images with an AI bot …. lots of half formed thoughs and ideas about this …. I will experiment with that …